i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
