This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
