She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
