Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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