I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
17 year olds will be the death of me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
