I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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