i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
