Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
