My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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