North Korea, Best Korea!
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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