A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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