people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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