sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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