Do you still have your period?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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