I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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