I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
