Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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