You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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