is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I came so hard my ears popped.
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