It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
