My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
are you so shy because you have an std?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
