She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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