I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
