my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize