Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
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