Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
