Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
