I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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