party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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