think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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