Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
