The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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