i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
