I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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