I wannas sexs uuuuu
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
