Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
