im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
