Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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