she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
