Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize