I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
