Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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