i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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