PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
