Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.

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(845): View more from New York

Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.

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(845): View more from New York

hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table

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(314): View more from Missouri

Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won

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(519): View more from Ontario

I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."

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(574): View more from Indiana

I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor

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(818): View more from California

Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20

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(216): View more from Ohio

We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick

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(416): View more from Toronto

I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.

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