His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
