Fuck appropriateness.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
