my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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