he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
