You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Pants are for mortals
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
