My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She needs sedatives and a leash
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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