Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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