Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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