I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize