The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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