Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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