i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Life is so much better after having sex.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
