I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
