we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
