Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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