loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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